Seminary formation is not intended only to form a seminarian but it enables also the seminarian to learn in the formation. As I take another pace towards a diverse road in my vocation, I have learned a lot of things which made me to reflect twice before deciding for myself. I know that in serving God and in following His path one cannot but face a lot of consequences which could either direct him to an easy life or to a more challenging one.
In the past three years of my formation in the seminary, I have encountered a lot of disappointments and frustrations in my relationship with my co- seminarians, from the works that I did not perfectly done, the responsibilities which I failed to fulfill and some other aspects of my life. Having been confronted of life’s reality I learn how to develop the courage and determination to face all of these discontentments.
My stay in the seminary taught me to recognize that inside me is a mysterious power which permeates my existence, and which can mend and steer me. Here I realize too that I did not really have to depend more on my efforts but rather always have the conviction that God is doing this work with me and in me. This somehow eased the burden of monotony and routine in the daily schedule. I observed that formation is a never-ending contest between my will and God’s will. At some instances, it offers chances to choose not only between good and evil but more often between good and better.
It was indeed a struggle that had taught me not just endurance but cooperation, not just fortitude but determination and not just supplication but good discernment as I affirm indeed that His will be done. My life in the seminary is not just about an easy going lucky affair but it is more on taking the risk. It is the risk that help me to become more resound and precise in my decisions and plans in life and in the formation as a whole. My formation gave me the determination to risk and to try something no matter how difficult it is, as long as it will lead me into an edifying transformation of my life. For me, it makes me what I am now. To take the risk of exploring new things in the formation will motivate me to keep on going with my decision making.
I do believe these growths, realizations, insights and struggles of mine will be more refined if I once again join the community in journeying in the next level of formation. With profound humility I am asking your permission to allow me to discover something more in me by entrusting myself in the next formation year. In short, I am applying for third year college. My decision is just an initial step in the next stage of formation but the completion of my desires continues as you give your decision also. May the Holy Spirit inspire you to decide well. God knows everything. He will send more laborers to His vineyard.